It’s Not Always Easy

Yesterday marked 8 months alcohol free. I didn’t even remember until I went to bed. My bedtime routine is to meditate by thinking about all the ways I am blessed. I fall asleep thankful that I’m sober and wake up grateful not to have a hangover.

I had some rough spots last week. Stress is my trigger to make me long for the numbness of a black out drunk. While having lunch with my 35 years sober boss/AA touting step father, something made me decide to tell him that I had 8 months of not drinking. He nodded and said, “great”. I didn’t make it seem like it was a big deal because part of me still thinks that I’ll drink again even though I know it’s poison that would eventually kill me. That’s pretty messed up.

The boyfriend has been trying to stop drinking. He’s successful for about 21 days and then decides he doesn’t have a problem and goes back to drinking. I’ve gotten much better at keeping his problems his and my problems my own. I’m having a hard enough time fighting my own battles.

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