Baby Steps

This morning I was thinking back to those early days of sobriety. They seem so far in the past.  I felt fragile, like I was walking on glass shards or that at any given moment my life was going to come crashing down.

New sobriety was like becoming a first time parent. You had this beautiful new gift from God but absolutely no clue of how much your life would change and even fewer ideas about how to go about making this life change work.

So,  to be cliche,  you take each day moment by moment just trying to get through the next hurdle, from trying figure out why this tiny human is wailing in those first months of a child’s life to wondering how you are going to make it through your first weekend without drinking.

I’d like to say I’m so much wiser having two years of sobriety behind me but I’d be lying. The challenges get further apart but you still have to be aware of them or they come back to bite you.

Have you noticed that sober anniversaries seem to bring back that old voice that tells you is OK to drink now? Your mind says “Look, I did this so I deserve to drink”. This is dangerous territory. This line of thinking proves you need to buckle down more than ever and stay vigilant of this stupid fight that you never wanted to be part of.

Stay sober,  my friends.

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One thought on “Baby Steps

  1. I look back at the person I was drinking and it’s hard to see me doing it ever again – I’m so strongly focused on the present and the future that whatever shit went down so long ago is nol longer part of my personal shame story. Onwards and upwards, with a respectful nod to our past, I say!
    thanks,
    Bren

    Like

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