Now What?

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Yesterday was a flurry of encouraging messages from sober bloggers about my one year sober anniversary.  I mentioned it to my teen daughter who was visiting from the university.  She said, “Wow, good job Mom.”, with a slight rise in her voice. My boyfriend of 5 years sent me a message that said that he didn’t know many people who could accomplish that.  Those were my only real life reactions.  Not exactly the parade and party I thought this feat deserved. It was like this giant thing in my life was just that, big only in my life.  After thinking about it, I have really made not drinking no big deal to the people around me.  I barely mentioned it to anyone and when I did, it was in passing and not dwelled upon.

I realize that my mind was trying to gear me up for failure.  “Poor me.  Nobody cares that I spent the last 365 days working diligently on making my life better. I’m not the center of the world’s attention.” I haven’t had the urge to drink but I can see that my twisted mind is setting up the scene.

In doing some sober blog reading, I noticed a pattern.  I seemed to be focusing on the bloggers who had a recent relapse.  What I took away from those blogs is that one drink is not worth a year of sobriety.  I’ve also considered the possibility of attending my first AA meeting.  I’ll have to think about that a bit more.

 

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9 thoughts on “Now What?

  1. Phoenix says:

    I’ve wondered about if the time will come when I’ll be drawn to another meeting. My best advice: Go. Feel it out. Our Sober Blogging Network is a great supportive space with incredible people but if you are thinking about attending a meeting you should do it. There may be something else you need that the SBN is not providing. A different perspective perhaps. You’ve reached a milestone and should be very proud of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congrats on your accomplishment! I’m sure your friends and family are enjoying you a lot more as a sober person.

    I learned that it just doesn’t cross the minds of our loved ones to go out of the way to congratulate us on something we should be doing all along as adults.

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  3. Hey, kiddo…

    Here it is January 15th and I’m going through my entire blog list to see how everyone is doing. I haven’t been around much until lately because my wife’s mother died Nov. 2nd and things have been quite hectic.

    I’ll add my heartiest congrats and a huge hug from me and the dawg for an amazing first year. I do want to encourage you to please try an AA meeting if you haven’t done so yet. Joy and I are coming up shortly on 5 years clean and sober, thanks to AA and the support of those who came along side us.

    Keep up the good work, Goggles! One day at a time and all that jazz. I’m so pleased and proud for you.

    greg

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    • Greg, I’m sorry to hear of your recent loss. My grandfather passed away last week so I’m familiar with the pain of grieving.

      I’m swimming along in sobtiety’s stream but haven’t had time to post or read many blogs lately. Hopefully, I’ll remedy that soon.

      I’m still not ready for AA. It’s a boy’s club around here and as my step father (celebrating 36 years of sobriety tomorrow) says, “Men and women are not on the sane wave length. He’s sponsored hundreds of people and says that women and sobriety are beyond him.

      So, for now, I’m going to keep doing what’s working and try something different when it doesn’t. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sorry about your grandfather, as well, dear friend. And hang in there. I’ll admit i was concerned. I cleaned out my list of 80+ blogs on my page today and went through them one-by-one. When I came to yours I just had to stop in and say hey.

        Interestingly, I deleted about 20 blogs for several reasons. They has stopped posting because: they had lost interest (a real possibility), they had outgrown the need or interest to maintain their site(again, quite possible) or they may have gone back out. Of course I have no way of knowing,but I imagine if I went back and read their posts, it would be possible to read the signs of impending doom. I don’t know. It really doesn’t matter.

        Anyway, it’s so good to hear from you. Do whatever works for you. All the best. Hugs from me and Della the dawg. Fight the good fight.

        Liked by 1 person

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