Sober Isn’t Easy…But It’s Better than Drunk

317 days have passed without so much as a drop of alcohol passing my lips.  I hadn’t given that much thought until yesterday afternoon when I was doing yard work.  I remembered that last summer I spent every other weekend obliterated out of my mind from Thursday through Sunday night.  Most Sundays were slept away trying to ward off the hangovers of the century.  I could never mow on Sunday.  I was left to sweat out the toxins during the week.

Anyway, I was thinking about how much I wanted to drink on my way home from work on Friday.  Exhaustion always brings me to wanting to numb and check out.  At this stage of the game, I can wait those feelings out by reminding myself of how horrible hangovers were for me. Waking up every morning sober and not wanting to crawl out of my own skin is worth it’s weight in gold.

Sometimes my mind races thinking about the next time I will be challenged.  I have to remind myself to stay in the moment and not get ahead of myself.  It will all work out.  I had a three day garage sale last weekend and met some pretty cool people.  One of which I hit it off right away with.  She is slightly older than myself (I’m 45).  She bought a chair from me which I delivered the half a block to her house.  She was so thankful and immediately invited me down to have a glass of wine.  I must have looked panicked because she asked, “You do drink wine, don’t you?”  I awkwardly responded that I don’t and immediately felt like the unpopular girl at the school dance.  She asked if I drink coffee.  I’ve been caffeine free for over 8 years.  “I drink water,” grasping at not wanting to be a total party pooper.  Gah!  Sober isn’t always easy but at least I’m in control of my awkwardness and making a fool of myself all on my own sans booze.

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10 thoughts on “Sober Isn’t Easy…But It’s Better than Drunk

  1. Yeah, manual labor during these Indiana summers has been interesting for me. After four years of high and dry, I actually went back to a non-alcoholic beer — O’Doul’s dark — and here’s what I discovered: I drink one when I’m wiped after mowing the yard and that’s enough. That never happened when I was knocking back the real deal. Still can’t explain that, and there’s no one I can talk to at AA about it because we’re not supposed to do that stuff.

    Be that as it may, my wife and I put a 12-pack in the fridge and it will go for weeks before we need to get another. When we were playing hardball with the big kids, that 12-pack would last maybe an afternoon. And now I drink O’Doul’s only with my wife.

    Be that as it may, recovery is a long freaking road. There are so, so many variables. Where you are now is not where you will be a year from now. You’re still really fresh in it. Breathe in and breathe out. This thing comes one day at a time.

    greg

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hated to say one day at a time but that’s exactly what I meant. I can see where not getting too far ahead of myself is the best path. There’s a long row to hoe ahead of me.

      That’s awesome about the non alcoholic beer. I get why AA says it’s a no no because of old habits but honestly, it’s not the same thing. I know a couple of fellas that are 10+ years sober that drink them. If it works for you, then who says it’s a bad thing?

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  2. Those thoughts happen. It’s our reaction to our thoughts that we can control.

    I saw a can of unopened beer on the side of the road today as I rode my bike home. I immediately thought “score!”. But then laughed, thanked God for another sober day and rode off, smiling. It’s in the reaction. I can’t control my thoughts, but I can control my reactions.

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